i wish i could cry. i don't want this. i just want things to be like they always were. i don't want to groow up. i don't want to learn german. i don'twa nt to learn about functions of more than one variable. i just want to sit in a corner somewehere and die. this isnt' what i wanted, this isn't the life i signed up for. everything is falling apart. i want to sleep. sleep fixxes everything, except i know that when i sleep i will have to wake up and i will be exactly in the same place. i don't want to exsist. i want to stop. everything stops.