Weary to the bone. even my soul aches with fatigue.what to write about. Mmm. Hahahaha that was a funny comic, but none of you know what im talking about.the roomies are gone. and this is a good thing. Time to unwind... time for me. TIme to not have to go to dinner... not have to open my eyes to look at a world that I don't like.that isn't quite accurate. It is just that somedays... ungh. Like i sayed. So tired.
But I've got my music. And that puts back some of the things that a day can take from me. look ing like the stress for finals is strating to kick in... and every, myself included is losing hair,,, either by accident or by forcingfully tearing it out. taking forever for me to write. I don't know what is the meatter with me today. just... nothing to talk about. I want to go home. I want to drive my car. I want to get up at 630 in the morning, and rush to eat breakfast and get dressed for school.I want to go out in the mornings and see frost on my car and on the roadways. Looking at the calendar that blogger provides in the history window. Only 8 days. and I am home. Roomate is asking for a beating. He has music really loud. Well fuck him. I'll put my headphones that SUCK on. You can have your motherfucking laptop speakers bitch. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. not any sense in getting irratated. But I mean... he always asks me to put on headphones. So why exactly didn't he bring any? Whatever. Not my problem. Though it is a pain in the ass to be wired into the computer.. because the wire is perpetually in the way. Without exception. in the way. WHOA trippy. Apparently the keys on my keyboard work... the ones that say "Volume" and "Search" "Email" "Internet" and "Mute" The only difficulty is that "Email" turns the volume down and that "search" mutes. The "volume" buttons do not function, neaither does the "internet" button or the "mute" button. Errrrr.... what the fuck? Who steals bleach? I have been working here for an hour. Working at blogging. Everything it seems like is an effort. I can't even... oh I can't think anymore. I just dont' want to. I want to climb into my bed I think... and just, close my eyes. and when i close them i will never open them again. I feel asleep while walking back from class. I closed my eyes, and I was asleep before my foot had hit the ground. whereupon it jostled me awake. and then... I was awake. and really quite confused. not that confused. but still wondering just what had happened. seemed like the sentence previous needed an adjective. I considered heck. I also considered fuck. and a derivitive of that "fucking hell" but i decided to go clean. and i think my writing is the weaker for it. i know that in theroy I'm almost there. god. i am so done. i am so done. i'm sorry all. but i just can't do this anymore. i need to sleep. i need to find my soul again.
"Or maybe I'm just blind... so hold me when I'm here. right me when I'm wrong. hold me when I'm scared. and love me when I'm gone. everything I am, and everything in me. wants to be the one you wanted me to be. I'll never let you down, even if I could. I'd give up everything if only for your good. So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong. Hold me when I'm scared. you'll always be there. so love me when I'm gone..."
-three doors down - when i'm gone
-cr
But I've got my music. And that puts back some of the things that a day can take from me. look ing like the stress for finals is strating to kick in... and every, myself included is losing hair,,, either by accident or by forcingfully tearing it out. taking forever for me to write. I don't know what is the meatter with me today. just... nothing to talk about. I want to go home. I want to drive my car. I want to get up at 630 in the morning, and rush to eat breakfast and get dressed for school.I want to go out in the mornings and see frost on my car and on the roadways. Looking at the calendar that blogger provides in the history window. Only 8 days. and I am home. Roomate is asking for a beating. He has music really loud. Well fuck him. I'll put my headphones that SUCK on. You can have your motherfucking laptop speakers bitch. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. not any sense in getting irratated. But I mean... he always asks me to put on headphones. So why exactly didn't he bring any? Whatever. Not my problem. Though it is a pain in the ass to be wired into the computer.. because the wire is perpetually in the way. Without exception. in the way. WHOA trippy. Apparently the keys on my keyboard work... the ones that say "Volume" and "Search" "Email" "Internet" and "Mute" The only difficulty is that "Email" turns the volume down and that "search" mutes. The "volume" buttons do not function, neaither does the "internet" button or the "mute" button. Errrrr.... what the fuck? Who steals bleach? I have been working here for an hour. Working at blogging. Everything it seems like is an effort. I can't even... oh I can't think anymore. I just dont' want to. I want to climb into my bed I think... and just, close my eyes. and when i close them i will never open them again. I feel asleep while walking back from class. I closed my eyes, and I was asleep before my foot had hit the ground. whereupon it jostled me awake. and then... I was awake. and really quite confused. not that confused. but still wondering just what had happened. seemed like the sentence previous needed an adjective. I considered heck. I also considered fuck. and a derivitive of that "fucking hell" but i decided to go clean. and i think my writing is the weaker for it. i know that in theroy I'm almost there. god. i am so done. i am so done. i'm sorry all. but i just can't do this anymore. i need to sleep. i need to find my soul again.
"Or maybe I'm just blind... so hold me when I'm here. right me when I'm wrong. hold me when I'm scared. and love me when I'm gone. everything I am, and everything in me. wants to be the one you wanted me to be. I'll never let you down, even if I could. I'd give up everything if only for your good. So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong. Hold me when I'm scared. you'll always be there. so love me when I'm gone..."
-three doors down - when i'm gone
-cr
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