new feeling and new problems.

or are they both old?

Reminded of a line out of a movie. "sometimes to be steady, and do what is right we have to give up what we want the most. Even our dreams."

Wondering how this statement can be applied to my life. Giving up certainly does not fix the problem. You cannot just convince yourself you don't want it. because you know that you do. It is surely impossible to deny ever wanting something when it turns out you can't have it. On some level inside yourself you will be hoping that things will miraculiously turn around...

so really, you can't give up. not totally, anyway.

In the meantime however, pretty demoralized about the whole damn thing. But on the other hand, you can't rush it. Some people sure as shit do though, and it works out alright for them... doesn't it? or does it?

I guess it is all about not being a weakling. Being steady. Understanding that things aren't working out right now. And it might be an extraordinarly long time before they do work out. But that doesn't mean to stop trying, keep stumbling around in the dark for long enough, and you'll find the doorway.

Sure, plenty of stubbed toes, fear, and humiliation as you walk into a wall in the dark... but in the end you'll forget all that, and remember only the success which you found.

Closer today is interesting, I'd never thought that way before. Wish i knew who had said it... I'm sure you can all do some research of your own on this one.

Ignorance and prejudice are the ballast of our ship of state - however, ships without ballast are not seaworthy and cannot sail in the tempests, nor reach a safe harbor

-CR