Blah, so maybe instead of putting small little stupid stupid comments and quotations up, I should actually say something here eh? Okay! sounds like a plan.
So, I feel tired. I don't want to do school anymore! GRRRR! only a few more weeks left though and I'm home free. or at least just thrown into another prision, summer job. :-/ Going to be pretty annoying, because I don't know if I even have a job or anything, I just have this vague idea that I want to work, and that I've applied various places. I also know that I want the money, because money = happyness. Or something like that. or maybe even a correctly spelled version of happiness. Spell correctly, look smarter, whatev-er. Random girls just waltzed into room, raiding roomie #2's desk for cash. I guess they needed 2 bucks, they couldn't find it, so offered them the spare change box that I fill from time to time with just random dimes and nickels. It had two bucks in it. SO yea. the end. I think that I hate german, and it is the bane of my exsistence. again. just 2 more weeks and I'm free of it forever. Or at least for most of forever. One year is rapidly approaching. I wish I could do something special, but the unfortunate bussiness that is Jazz Ensamble has a gig that night. I want to just run off, and skip the gig. Hop on a train, and get off of it in seattle, find her, and tell her that I'm glad things worked out, that I'm glad we're together, that it's all totally worth it, that where we are now is exactly where I've wanted to be for so long. But I can't, and it makes me sad. I can tell myself that it is just another day, and try not to focus on it, but the thing is that, it isn't just another day, it's somehow.. more than that. But I'll get through it, soon we'll be a whole lot closer, and will be able to visit one another much more often. For the last week, on and off there has been a girl sleeping with roomie #1, this makes me uncomfortable... as she is a female. and she is in my room. and that isn't right. Don't feel right changing when there is a girl in the room... on the whole it just has me off balence, especially when apparently they are just plutonically sleeping together. Uh... yeah... the fuck? Maybe it wouldn't be so weird if there actually was something that they both acknowledged, or maybe I didn't have to be around it. But yea, that is not the case. The sunset tonight was beautiful, but that didn't stop me from knocking it. "Could be better" I think. But I am missing the point. I am willling to set myself down and gaze at something beautiful, then insult it, "I've seen better!" as though I am somehow entitled to something better, as though the forces that be owe it to me to produce a progressively more wonderous sunset every night. How about I just look at what is there, and not take it for granted. That night will not last forever. We only get a certain amount of sunsets in our lives. It is stupid to compain and simply not appreciate what we are naturally given. And, what if every sunset were perfect? What then? Why look if there is no anticipation, and sense of surprise? We wouldn't know the extraordinary for all its normality.
A while ago, I decided to lose my mind. It was going great for awhile. Then I ran into a diffculty. I found that it was my madness that was keeping me sane. Which was a bit of an odd conundrum, and quite a shame I thought. I would have liked to be truely crazy. At least for a little while. being crazy is fun I think. And I want to try it out more often. My laundry is almost done drying in the basement. I'll have to go upstairs and check.
A huge Viking warrior tosses a sword to an unarmed companion. The companion catches the sword and complains, "I can't use this-it's too heavy." The huge Viking warrior replies, "Grow stronger"
-CR
So, I feel tired. I don't want to do school anymore! GRRRR! only a few more weeks left though and I'm home free. or at least just thrown into another prision, summer job. :-/ Going to be pretty annoying, because I don't know if I even have a job or anything, I just have this vague idea that I want to work, and that I've applied various places. I also know that I want the money, because money = happyness. Or something like that. or maybe even a correctly spelled version of happiness. Spell correctly, look smarter, whatev-er. Random girls just waltzed into room, raiding roomie #2's desk for cash. I guess they needed 2 bucks, they couldn't find it, so offered them the spare change box that I fill from time to time with just random dimes and nickels. It had two bucks in it. SO yea. the end. I think that I hate german, and it is the bane of my exsistence. again. just 2 more weeks and I'm free of it forever. Or at least for most of forever. One year is rapidly approaching. I wish I could do something special, but the unfortunate bussiness that is Jazz Ensamble has a gig that night. I want to just run off, and skip the gig. Hop on a train, and get off of it in seattle, find her, and tell her that I'm glad things worked out, that I'm glad we're together, that it's all totally worth it, that where we are now is exactly where I've wanted to be for so long. But I can't, and it makes me sad. I can tell myself that it is just another day, and try not to focus on it, but the thing is that, it isn't just another day, it's somehow.. more than that. But I'll get through it, soon we'll be a whole lot closer, and will be able to visit one another much more often. For the last week, on and off there has been a girl sleeping with roomie #1, this makes me uncomfortable... as she is a female. and she is in my room. and that isn't right. Don't feel right changing when there is a girl in the room... on the whole it just has me off balence, especially when apparently they are just plutonically sleeping together. Uh... yeah... the fuck? Maybe it wouldn't be so weird if there actually was something that they both acknowledged, or maybe I didn't have to be around it. But yea, that is not the case. The sunset tonight was beautiful, but that didn't stop me from knocking it. "Could be better" I think. But I am missing the point. I am willling to set myself down and gaze at something beautiful, then insult it, "I've seen better!" as though I am somehow entitled to something better, as though the forces that be owe it to me to produce a progressively more wonderous sunset every night. How about I just look at what is there, and not take it for granted. That night will not last forever. We only get a certain amount of sunsets in our lives. It is stupid to compain and simply not appreciate what we are naturally given. And, what if every sunset were perfect? What then? Why look if there is no anticipation, and sense of surprise? We wouldn't know the extraordinary for all its normality.
A while ago, I decided to lose my mind. It was going great for awhile. Then I ran into a diffculty. I found that it was my madness that was keeping me sane. Which was a bit of an odd conundrum, and quite a shame I thought. I would have liked to be truely crazy. At least for a little while. being crazy is fun I think. And I want to try it out more often. My laundry is almost done drying in the basement. I'll have to go upstairs and check.
A huge Viking warrior tosses a sword to an unarmed companion. The companion catches the sword and complains, "I can't use this-it's too heavy." The huge Viking warrior replies, "Grow stronger"
-CR
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