So it's been awhile... and I'm finding myself 97.67% torn (the odd 2.33% voted for the green party) between 2 options. I'm thinking to myself just let it go, and keep moving... but then that other part of me, says that I would be a fool to give up now. Don't give up until you're fully shut down right?

IN the meantime: Coming to realize more and more that most folks simply see me as a means to an end. "Burn this CD for me." "Print this paper for me." "Read this paper for me." "Okay, now leave." "Hey, we're all leaving this weekend, so you'll have to put together the project by yourself." And don't I wish that I was making this up. I don't think that I like hanging around with people anymore. They come running when their world comes tumbling down. But who is going to help me when I need it? And the thing is, no one will. I try to accept that I'll be alone for my life, but i dont' want to accept it. I don't want to be alone.

I'll never have the chance to give a girl my coat to keep her warm.

I'll never get to wait for hours to be there with a rose when she wakes up.

I'll never walk in the rain because I've donated my jacket to my date.

I'll never get the chance to kiss someone in the pouring rain.

I'll never be able to remember a birthday.

I'll never have the chance to choose the perfect gift.

I don't want to miss out on these things... but I don't think there is much choice.

"Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat."

-CR