i feel, i feel a lot of things, that i'm not really sure what anything means now. i feel i need a place i can go with just myself. i feel like i really need to cry. need to flush everything out. i also feel like i've been punched in the stomach. i feel bored, i feel lazy, i feel uninteresting, i feel discarded and unwanted.

fairly sure that covers all of them.

emotions are a dangerous mix of euphoria and depression.

so fucking confused. goddamnit this kind of shit isn't supposed to happen to me. i am one squared away motherfucker who does not get confused. but sure enough here it comes. no, not confusion. i know what is constant. i know she's there for me, and i know she cares but i thought that...

why is it that when she leaves i feel like such utter horseshit? why do i feel like somehow i'll never be happy again. everything seems so boring. i'm bored. for the first time in a long fucking time, i'm actually bored.

bloody pizza joint was being all bunchy and i couldn't even eat my feelings. bastards.

Gym. Yes yes... there is the answer. for the next 30 minutes anyway.