Relief.
And lots of it.

Because, see, I really thought that I had messed up. I thought all was lost, ruined in a ... in a what? I don't know. But I thought it was ruined, that never again would I be thought of as the same, that I would become a different person, that I would change to the boy with dirt on his face and maggots pouring out of his mouth and eyes. the boy that I see in the mirror e3very time that I look. I am still confused I guess. I don't under stand how I am not different, how can I be the same person again. I'm just scared now and I don't know. Never again. I can't let that happen again. I almost feel like it hasn't sunken in yet I'm frightened frightened of everything Feeling so confused. Scream, I want to scream. maybe there was not enough time. maybe that was all maybe I just. But I remember, wait no. I remember.there was something. hold on to that, remember that. that is what it is, that that that that. hold on to that you cannot for get that. this is the bipolarness you need to be careful of this will destory all be careful. Must remember. never forget, never. no. neever. ever.

Inhale
Exhale
Repeat as needed.

-CR