Music:

Bad Religion - Broken

Seether Featuring Amy Lee - Broken

The funy thing is that I have NO idea why I actually feel like this. It doesn't make sense. Nothing's changed. At least I think not. Funny thing I'm not 100% sure what she feels for me in the first place. But I'm one to talk, I havn't been the most forthcoming in my emotions either.

Now I'm just going to act as if nothing happened. I really do care about her, and want to make sure that I don't do anything that damages the friendship that we have. I made that mistake one and a half times, I don't see a reason to repeat it. Anyway, if the only way I'll be able to show her I care and still be in her life right now is as a friend. So be it.

I'm not planning to switch on the radar and start tracking targets, assessing them and assigning values. That was a stupid stupid system. If I trip over something while she's gone, fine. If not, fine, we'll get together and hang out and see what happens. If it's weird, fine. If not fine.

Heh, easy to say. But maybe it's time that I started exerting influence over my emotions for a change.

Fucking emotions.

-CR