kinda weird for it to just disappear like that. ughy. I thought I was doing so well, i was doing alright, and then last night hit me like a ton of bricks. dreams too... i'm not supposed to have this kind of thing. and so i get curious, i go back, and it's gone. kinda hurtful to see that chronicle disappear. it's like the final nail right? a clear signal that all is done and over. it's the second hurt when everything is sealed and a replacement has been found. maybe a seed for hate, but i don't want it to be. i don't know what i'm doing. just bumbling around like an idiot... trying to figure myself out.