Boom. So there. I don't fucking get it. I quit. Swear to god. I don't know who I am anymore. At one point, I did. I really KNEW who I was and what I stood for and all that, but now. Now I'm not so sure. Who are my friends? Who are my foes? Who do I not give a flying fuck about? I havn't the foggiest. At some point my sense of self went down the tubes. And now that I realize that it is infact gone... now what? I feel like... like new? No, not new. Stripped. As though something was stolen, and I just now am realizing that it is indeed gone. After all of my bold rhetoric about being your own person, and knowing yourself and all that stuff. It's a fucking severe case of irony that I have managed to get lost in the shuffle. The friends? I don't know about that anymore, there are few who I matter to at this point. Time to clean house I guess. Is that what it needs? Clean out the closet at least once every 2 years? More of this cookie cutter bullshit. I hate being like everyone else, and HERE I FUCKING am. Just like everyone else. "You are a unique and beautiful snowflake. Just like everyone else" I don't know what I am. Now what? Do I just wander around waiting for an identity to hit me over the head with a trout? Or am I supposed to just keep the status quo in the hope that eventually I get brainwashed into thinking that a life such as that is an OK thing for me. And now a voice in my head is repeating that I'm the same person that I've always been. But that's just it. I'm not. Somewhere along the line, my integity came second to myself. And now... myself has gone and run off. Great now what? Who am I? What am I? And how do I know? A friend told me just now that I am a good guy. But I don't know. I really really don't.

I wish you well

-CR