Never again. Never never never never. That's a powerful word. Soul crushing.

Those were happy times yes. She made you feel good and wanted yes. But those are over now. You will never have her back. That much should be clear by tonight at the least. It will be a fragile friendship and one that will last for nothing more than a month. She is a different person now. Someone else entirely. She feels nothing for you but pity. And maybe that is how it should be. She has no time for you now, wants nothing to do with you. Never. Never again. You don't ever have to feel this way ever again. And maybe that's what I do now. She needs to be removed. I know in my heart that she and I will never be together. I KNOW that. But I can't stop thinking about her. Am I really thinking about her though. Or am I thinking about what she used to be? That person is dead and gone now. And while I might mourn her passing, I cannot project those old feelings onto this new person. They are different people.

And I'm different. Maybe by design.

I have had to adapt. I knew that I didn't need to feel this way. And that's my part. I get to control what I think about. I get to control what I feel.

Feel nothing. Oh but I don't want to. Maybe I'm just pissed that it is all a casuality of time and timing. Too bad. Just like the others. A casuality of time, and timing.

And now I move on, and try not to think about what we might have built.

-CR

My heart hurts.

We spend an aweful lot of time trying to be clever. Only to realize that no one really cares.