Tired. Feeling down. Reading things, making me hurt. Should take care of it. I know that there is no way it was intentional, but the fact that some people can feel that way really hurts me. I don't like people. They say things that make you bleed. Not angering, just hurtful... as though we just come of some factory and have no feelings whatsoever. Hurtful, deeply.

"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to
fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill
the thing on the inside."

-CR

Much anger. Some people just make you tired. Being the fifth wheel and without my better half was also difficult. You win some and lose others.

The fools are at it again.

Never. Ever. EVER. Have I met someone with such a capacity to put their foot in one's own mouth. The things you say, you have to understand that words can cut. The words you choose and the way you deliver them make people bleed. Everyone knows it. Except maybe you. You fool, you seem to think it is OK, that there's no problem there. Someone, I don't know who, but someone needs to step up to the plate and gift you the clairvoyance to realize what you are saying. Do you even know what is coming out of your mouth? Do you know what that sounds like? I promise you, if you can't make yourself into a considerate person I will break a vow I made to myself so many years ago. I will slap you like a pimp cuffing a stray hooker. Fool. Or better yet, and also less likely to get me into prison I will tear into you as though you were wheat before a scythe and when I am done with you, you will be nothing but a husk curled up in the fetal position in a corner, looking for a quiet place to die and end the torment. And don't you think that I can't do it. Someone has to, I don't want to, but this shit has got to stop. You don't even realize what you're doing do you fool? Maybe you are a lost cause.

There are others. Also requiring severe slappage. They know what the problems are. Yet they take actions to perpetuate said problems. Two people fit this bill... one aggressive and one passive. Though I do not blame the passive for actions were taken and were strongly rebuffed with hurt feelings and tantrums. The aggressive needs to mix in a clue in the worst kind of way. Logic is a beautiful thing on occasion, and this is one time that I would stongly encourage you to use it. I have abandoned it numerous times, but the actions you take make no fucking sense whatsoever and seem to be taken without regard to the consequences. I don't know that you deserve to be lumped in with the fools, but where the hell else do you belong? The tragic section? Maybe. I fucking hate this shit sometimes



I looked at the stars when I got home. Have to wonder if the Girl Who Talks With Her Eyes would be looking at them at the same moment. They are the same stars after all. A common thread even across distances. Comma splices are evil, finding myself catching them everywhere. Like that one just last sentence, 'twixt "evil" and "finding". Audible sigh. It will be a challenge surely. I hate doing that, estimating difficulty. I naturally don't want to be an optimist. That's just not me. However I don't wish to overestimate difficulty to the point of futility and discouragement. Equally challenging however is not being too optimistic in the difficulty modifier, as I don't wish to call it a cakewalk either, as that implies lack of serious-osity. No questions. No regrets. Only apprehension as to what exactly the other side feels, still hard to believe this is happening to me. Nothing good ever happens to me. And then it all changed. Happy juice.
Two closers. Go me. Because they both fit this post.

"If hospitality does not suit the situation, one must settle for Malice."

"And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when

Breathe out
so I can breathe you in
Hold you in"
- "Everlong" Foo Fighters


-CR

Just spent the better half of an hour (read: hour and one half) Grappleing with Registration for Willie. Whoa damn. That whole process. way more complicated-ed than it needed -ed to be. Going to be taking some computer science classes hopefully. Go me. Will be fun. Always wanted to know how that shizzile worked. Very hungry. Very. Tuna sammich en route. Girl Who Talks with Her Eyes coming home tomorrow. Happy me. Regrettable is that I leave a few days later... fishing (read:fishening). Fun fun. Satellite phones are great. Needing to make plans to go and see large cats. Speaking of cats. Pandora has caught birds... and eaten them... disturbing. Good to know that my clever compatriot was having the same issues with the mind being less patient than the heart, always good to know that you are not alone when faced with a conundrum such as that... though I must admit one always wonders about reciprocity. And how nice it would be to be pyschic. Yeah. That would be cool. Parade yesterday. Heard name screamed more than once, bizzare. I didn't see who any of them were. And that is unfortunate.

"Only those who attempt the absurd...will achieve the impossible. I think...I think it's in my basement...Let me go upstairs and check." - M.C. Escher"

-CR

Let's see. Tennis again. Good thing i guess. Some people very frusterating. The awkward summer is doing its thang... and you realize that all those promises to do things with other people are just empty notices of your irrelevance. Girl that talks with her eyes is en route to california for a cruise. Lucky her. Now I need to try and find something to do with myself in the meantime. There are plans afoot. Axis and Allies. The Goods. Frizz-Bee. And apparently paintballing as well... Though this paintballing bussiness has me leery... not to keen on getting mowed down by Batman and company. Decisions are good. And healthy. The demon from hell for all lovers has attacked both of us, but we set down and worked it out. And that is a good thing. Pleased with the outcome. Part of me now smirking at that last sentence for I don't know that anyone that reads this will be able to understand that last bit. Does anyone read this? Heh i don't even know. Knowing would be a good thing. The only problem with havening a blog is that when you know that people read it you are hesitant to write about them. meh. Tough cookies I guess.

"Life is pain, princess. . . anyone who says differently is selling something"

-CR

In light of recent events.

"My December" - Linkin Park

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear
This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone

And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all
The things I said
To make you
Feel like that
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all the
Things I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

This is my December
These are my snow covered dreams
This is me pretending
This is all I need

And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all
The things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all the things
I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have
Somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

-CR

Renamed.
Back.
Worries arise after stories of goings on at large public universities (and even smaller private ones) at parties and such where girls are advised to bring their own cups with tops on them and hold their hand over the top of said drink to prevent the insertion of valium or a similar resistance reducing drug into previously stated drink. Makes me worry for a girl that is more beautiful than she knows. I know such worries are foolish, for all can take care of themselves... but the idea of it happening to someone that I know and care about, this is for everyone now, not just a single case... it makes me angry that people would sink to such lows simply to indulge in carnal pleasures is just... just SICK. and has me doing all sorts of soul - searching about just how much faith I have in the human race. I hate people some times. And now I have to worry too. I just hope that all my worries are in vain, and that nothing so evil does visit on any of the people I care for, weather they know how beautiful they are or not.

New word for today: Truncheonify - v. The act of beating another savagely with a truncheon (rubber or no), trout, or an other, large, heavy, truncheon-like object.

-CR